files/astrology-offensive

YOUR FOAMY FUTURE
	by Miss Fortune

CANCER (June 22 - July 22)
	You've been awarded a clean bill of health this month and you feel you
	owe it all to the excessive amount of Vitamin B, Iron, and Malt you get
	in your beer.  Being healthy is admirable but don't you think you're
	going to feel stupid one day lying in a hospital dying of nothing?

LEO (July 23 - Aug. 22)
	You will soon acquire a large sum of money and will be in seventh
	heaven as you head to the nearest Liquor Barn and buy all the beer they
	have in stock.  Whoever said money couldn't buy happiness didn't know
	where to shop.

VIRGO (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)
	Your late night, beer drinking, "life in the fast lane" parties are
	affecting your job production the next morning.  You feel a nine to
	five job is not for a "party animal" such as yourself and may feel
	the need for a career change.  Just remember, people who work sitting
	down get paid more than people who work standing up.