files/astrology-offensive
YOUR FOAMY FUTURE
by Miss Fortune
ARIES (Mar. 21 - Apr. 19)
Matters are not good, where you health is concerned. This Fall, be
sure to "walk groundly, talk profoundly, drink roundly, and sleep
soundly" and you will live all the days of your life.
TAURUS (Apr. 20 - May 20)
You spent a fortune on beer this past summer and now find yourself
in a deep depression because you can't afford even one of your favorite
brewskis. Don't fret too much, Taurus. To get back on your feet
simply miss two car payments.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 21)
You think you're falling in love with a person who has a lot in
common with yourself. You both prefer ales, you've both tried your
hand at homebrewing, and you both want to visit every new brewpub that
opens. Sounds impressive but remember you really don't know your
partner until you meet in court.