files/miscellaneous-offensive

OLD FELLA RED CLARET
	Produce of Australia -- "The Big 69'er"

An unusual "Rough-as-Guts" wine that has the Distinctive Bouquet of old
and ill-cared for animals.  It is best drunk with the teeth clenched to
prevent ingestion of the seeds and skins.  Connoisseurs will savour the
slight Tannin Taste of burnt shag feathers and soiled medical dressings.
Possessors of a cultivated Palate admire the initial assault on the taste
buds which comes from the careful and loving blending of circus hosings
with perished jock straps.  The maturing in Midland Abattoir hogsheads
gives it a very Definite Nose.  With the bouquet like an aborigine's armpit.
In the United States this wine is marketed as Crow Brand (9 out of 10 people
who drink it for the first time exclaim "VRAAAARRRRRK").

It won a Bronze at the "Kings Cross Homosexuals Convention" of 1973

Warning: Avoid contact with eyes and open cuts.
	 Keep away from open naked flames -- both old and new.