files/religion-offensive

It seems that there was this Christian about to be thrown to the lions.  He
was shoved into the middle of the arena and the lion was released.  Being
a good Christian, as the lion approached he knelt and prayed, asking God for
forgiveness for his (few) sins, and begging that the lion might be dissuaded
from eating him for its breakfast.  Much to his dismay, the lion didn't stop
but kept coming, getting faster and faster, now almost running, so the
Christian took off too.  There they were, running around and around the arena,
the lion getting closer and the Christian praying harder and harder between
gasps for breath.  The lions breath was now hot upon his heels and he could
even feel droplets of the lions saliva splashing on his bare feet.  So he
pulled out all the stops, promising God that if the lion will only spare him,
he will devote the rest of his life to spreading the Christian faith,
forsaking all temptation and possessions.  Suddenly he no longer felt the
lions breath, no longer heard the great beast's snarls close behind him.
Slowing to a stop, he turned around and saw the lion on its knees, eyes rolled
upward, paws held together.  The lion appeared to be muttering something so
the Christian approached until he could make out what the lion was saying.

"Dear Lord, for what I am about to receive..."